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5.8 Essay - Evaluating the Finished Document

Instructions: None
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5.8 Essay - Evaluating the Finished Document


This is the finished document:

The ever widening gap between the have's and the have-not's has been increasing at an alarming rate, and huge swathes of the world's population now face extreme poverty. Measures to combat complacency and ignorance are urgently needed, so as to put this subject front and centre in the minds of the rich and powerful. To achieve this, there would appear to be two possible approaches.

Firstly, the media has been disappointingly ineffective so far in shining a light on this state of affairs. The plight of hundreds of millions of people, who are trapped in the vicious circle of extreme poverty, is ignored by the investigative television journalists. Some honest in-depth reporting on their part would, however, educate the public about how desperate the conditions for some are, and this might spur governments to finally take measures to alleviate the suffering of these unfortunate people.

Additionally, the schools need to face up to their responsibility here. Despite the fact that their students need to be taught about their own societies, the anguish of children in other parts of the world, who are much worse off, should not be ignored. The underlying social reasons for these conditions needs to be explained, so as to awaken the desire on the part of the students to get involved in movements to eradicate poverty.

Nevertheless, education is the slow train to progress, whereas what are needed now are immediate results. Only the media can deliver the kind of impact the problem is cying out for, and only the media can communicate with the people who can effect such a change.

The document is evaluated by looking at four areas:

Content, Communicative Achievement, Organisation, and Language.

The section on CONTENT asks:

Is all the content relevant, and is the document balanced? - The document has discussed two of the required points, the Media and Education, as shown by the introduction sentences, and the paragraphs are approximately the same size, so the document can be considered balanced.


Have the conventions of the communicative task been used effectively?

Is the register and tone are consistent?

Are the language choices sufficiently formal and appropriate? Are the opening and closing paragraphs appropriate?

The tone and register is formal throughout the document, and it has been written in the third person. The opening paragraph puts the subject being discussed into context, and the closing paragraph expresses the writer's opinion satisfactorily. So, these question have been adequately answered.

The section on ORGANISATION asks:

Is the essay is well organised and coherent?

Are the different ideas clearly signposted throughout?

Are the paragraphs internally well constructed, and linked together appropriately?

The rules on writing a discursive essay have be followed, and linking between ideas both within paragraphs and between paragraphs is evident, so it is clear that the signposting of ideas has been achieved. The structure of the paragraphs is as required in that they start with an introduction sentence, which is followed by sentences which justify the main idea expressed in the introduction sentence.

The section on LANGUAGE asks:

Is there an effective range of vocabulary, including less common lexis?

Is there a wide range of simple and complex grammatical forms, and are they used with control and flexibility, particularly in terms of sentence construction?

The language used is consistent with the CAE level and conveys the required information effectively and efficiently, with good use of modal verbs and contrasting elements to focus on specific points. The grammar structures used and the sentence construction shows an understanding of complex ideas.

This information can be extremely useful in trying to understand what an essay for the CAE requires.

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