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5.7 Essay - Final Version with Points of Interest

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5.7 Essay - Final Version with Points of Interest


The ever widening gap between the have's and the have-not's has been increasing at an alarming rate, and huge swathes of the world's population now face extreme poverty. Measures to combat complacency and ignorance are urgently needed, so as to put this subject front and centre in the minds of the rich and powerful. To achieve this, there would appear to be two possible approaches.

Firstly, the media has been disappointingly ineffective so far in shining a light on this state of affairs. The plight of hundreds of millions of people, who are trapped in the vicious circle of extreme poverty, is ignored by the investigative television journalists. Some honest in-depth reporting on their part would, however, educate the public about how desperate the conditions for some are, and this might spur governments to finally take measures to alleviate the suffering of these unfortunate people.

Additionally, the schools need to face up to their responsibility here. Despite the fact that their students need to be taught about their own societies, the anguish of children in other parts of the world, who are much worse off, should not be ignored. The underlying social reasons for these conditions needs to be explained, so as to awaken the desire on the part of the students to get involved in movements to eradicate poverty.

Nevertheless, education is the slow train to progress, whereas what are needed now are immediate results. Only the media can deliver the kind of impact the problem is crying out for, and only the media can communicate with the people who can effect such a change.

265 words

Points Of Interest

1 Balance and Document size: If the document is balanced, the paragraphs should all be about the same size, as is the case here, and the document is the right size.

2 Good paragraph structure requires the use of introduction sentences, as shown here in red.

3 Linking elements need to be used within and between paragraphs, shown here in blue.

4 The writer's opinion needs to be strongly expressed in the conclusion and Cambridge requires the writer to choose the best option, as shown here in green.

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