This is then the finished essay:
The idea of spending our holidays in our own country rather than enjoying the pleasures other countries have to offer is quite popular with some people. I, on the other hand, have a very different opinion.
To start with, low-cost air travel has revolutionised the tourism industry. This has opened the door to previously inaccessible destinations, and young people can now get to all corners of the world without the need for a lot of money in their pockets.
Additionally, the travel industry has been very proactive in creating holiday packages that have no negative effects on the environment. Such holidays use means of transport that have a low carbon footprint, and the accommodation is often rural where there is limited consumption of energy.
Finally, the educational benefits for young people experiencing other cultures is immense. Their social awareness comes alive, helping them to mature in an extremely positive fashion, which is something staying at home would not make possible.
To sum up, I am absolutely convinced that holidays abroad are positive experiences that can be good for the mind, good for the pocket, and good for the planet.
This document satisfies all the questions asked in the evaluation process given below:
The section for CONTENT asks the following questions:
Is all content relevant to the task? - yes
Have all the three points been covered? - yes
Has the writer given an opinion? - yes 'I am absolutely convinced that ...'
The section for COMMUNICATIVE ACHIEVEMENT asks the following questions:
Have the conventions of the essay format been used effectively? - yes
Is there an introductory paragraph? - yes
Is there a concluding paragraph? - yes
Is the register sonsistently appropriate? - yes
Has the document been written in an objective manner? - yes
Have simple and complex ideas been communicated? - yes
The section for ORGANISATION asks the following questions:
Is the essay well organised and coherent? - yes
How are the paragraphs introduced? - yes
Is the final text cohesive? - yes
Is the document the right size? - yes 188 words.
The final section for LANGUAGE asks the following questions:
Has a wide range of vocabulary been used? - yes
Have simple and complex grammatical structures been used? - yes
Have the ideas been expressed in an efficient manner? - yes
This document should then get a good mark.